Try Everything - A guide for college beginners

Life is a hectic cycle. As we grow old, we get busy in our job, family and responsibilities due to which we aren't able to get time for things we love, or things we want to learn. It becomes difficult to manage it due to shortage of time and age effect. We are so busy in the rat race that we aren't able to shift our time and attention towards those things. 

For class 12th kids last few months have been quite hectic and troublesome. First preparation for board exams, then entrance exams and now the tension of admission. As you guys enter new phase of your life, there are some things I would like to share with you.

First thing is that your graduation degree won't matter much until and unless you are in IIT or any similar institute. You need to go for PG if you wish to earn good and be among the top individuals in your industry. So don't feel bad if you aren't able to get into top DU COLLEGE or in IPU, instead this is the time which should be utilized very effectively. This is the time to experiment, this is the time try new things. It is the time to do what you always desired but due to study pressure weren't able to do them. This is the time to live your dreams. 

So if you want to learn swimming, then go for it, join any institute near you and start with it. Have a interest in playing guitar? Want to learn it? Then go get a guitar, join any of the classes nearby or learn from YouTube and get going. Have a passion for writing?  Start writing. It could be anything. It could be a short story, a poem, articles or better a book or start a blog like me. Have a interest in foreign languages? Want to learn them? Then search for the one you have interest in and get enrolled either in a recognized university or through embassy.  Want to act? Have a feeling that you can perform any role with perfection and deserve to be there in bollywood?  Then join a theater group in your city or a "drama community" in your college and showcase your talent. Also there are  many other communities in college, join any of the one where you find your calling. Or have a keen interest in travelling?? Then start by exploring your city.

Like this there are so many other things that you can do. All you need is a willingness to travel, willingness to move from your stable state. Set that lazy person within you aside and get going. Always remember there's a big difference between thinking about doing the thing and actually doing it. So try your hand at everything that's within your grasps, as you never know when and where you will find your true passion.

Believe me this is the best time for all this. As you have got through the tough phase of getting admission for UG. There will be no parental pressure for studies and clearing college examinations isn't a tough task. And you will have at least 2 years before you go for coaching for PG courses and seriously start studying for them. So see there's a plenty of time to do things you desire. All you need is to identify those empty spaces you have in your day and get going,.

I would like to narrate a story of one of my friend who is excellent in studies and was more into debate, quiz and similar activities during school days, joined the "Nukkad Natak" community in his college. And the way his personality changed is worth seeing. Also one of my classmate in school  had the keen interest in French language. She did foreign language course along with graduation and now she's a French Teacher in the same school. Teacher at the age off 22... Isn't it a kind of achievement? Also some of the guys I know were involved in social work for kids, which I always wanted to do in my college days but never took a proper step towards that cause.

Now 2 years after my graduation I realize the things I missed in my college days. Things that I should have done or could have opted to but due to bit laziness and unwillingness to move from my stable position, that lack of inner drive due to which I wasn't able to do those things. I failed to recognize the spaces I had in all those years, the empty spaces that weren't utilized effectively. Though I am doing them one by one now but had I gone for them at that time, things would have been lot different as they are now. I would have been more developed individual and would had much more time to do new things now

So after reading this I think you will surely realize the importance of these years of your college life plus the things you could go for in these years. You just have to set that lazy person within you aside and get going for your dreams, your desire and your "to do" list. Just enjoy these years of life as "THESE ARE THE BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE...." 

CHOICE

CHOICE

Choice smaller the word , bigger the meaning it holds. This Six Letter word has deeper insight and essence than it seems to be.

At every moment of life we face choices. Like whether to get up at 7 a.m. or not, whether to go to college or not, whether to attend lecture or not. This doesn't apply to office guys as literally they don't have a choice here. Our choices make the difference between where we are and where we could be. But do our action derive choices or choices drive us? Or both? Are choices there from very beginning or are they kind of opportunity arriving at that point of time. Dictionary defines choice as an opportunity to select something. But are opportunities always positive?? By word "opportunity"  seems so.. 

Choice is generally between 2 or more things. But the real challenge here is  how to classify which is a opportunity and which isn't? In the beginning we are not capable enough to judge which will be the best choice for us as roads are different for different opportunities. On this road there are some things which we like and some we don't.

Choices could be small or big, big enough to change our life, which involves the important decisions of our lives like career, goals, motives, ethics, dreams etc. But on this road of choices,  do we have an option to switch lanes or to go back to the choices that were offered, or do paths cross each other later on in life giving us a chance again to choose what me missed, to be where we could have been. 

The biggest dilemma in these choices is to choose which one is the best, the ones we would be happy about, the one we never regret. The battle of  heart and mind begins here, to choose. To choose the best. Not everyone in life makes the best choice, but not all are given a second chance, a chance to revive their choices and their actions, a chance to choose the best.

In tough situations, when things aren't going in our way we are often afraid to make a choice as we are afraid of the consequences. But at that time all we have to do is be calm and make a choice as the key to achieve something is to take a step towards it. And believe me, we all have the power to make a correct choice. All we have to do is to just listen to our inner voice and choose wisely. So while making a choice don't lose focus from your goals and decide which is the most important & valuable thing to you. 

Citing an example from my life, 3 years ago the choice I was confused about WHAT Next?? The biggest decision of life, what to pursue in life. What to choose as a career. Different roads, different opportunities, having things i liked and disliked, now taking a decision among these choices was proving to be a more tough task. In actual the choice wasn't really there actually. I wasn't  sure back then of what to do in life. As I was not sure,  I  had to follow the herd i.e  to go for an MBA, then work in the corporate world as a manager in MNC and live without a life. But as I didn't want a life like that, I decided to wait, as I had time to make my choice. I gave myself a much needed time and luckily it proved good for me.

So don't be afraid to make a move. BE FEARLESS. BE STRONG

In the end I just want to say that "WE ALL ARE THE SUM TOTAL OF CHOICES WE HAVE MADE AND CHOICES THAT ARE TO BE MADE"

When Love Becomes An Obsession

To start with, I am posting one of my old Article

Pyaar. Ishq. Mohabaat. Love.

Once in life we all have been in love or wants to be in love.. But what actually is love? Why sometime, someone becomes so important to us that our whole world is changed. We all have heared of love at first sight, but manyatimes we don't even know what a person would become after years of knowing or years of unknowing.

Love is a blossom feeling. It's like a sweet poison. Being in love reveals the other side of yours which is never seen with family or friends but only with your partner. In movie, "Pyaar Toh Hona hi Tha" , Om Puri said ," Har insan ko zindagi mai Pyaar zaroor karna chahiye..... Pyaar insaan ko bahut acha bana deta hai." (Every person should fall in love at least once in life....... Because love makes a person very good human being) But love become hazardous when it becomes an obsession.

We all are familiar with the iconic role of Shah Rukh Khan in "Darr", the story of an obsessive lover. We all saw the extent to which an obsessor can become dangerous.

In the beginning of a relationship passion is high. You want to spend more time with the other person either in person or on call. It feels good when someone takes that extra care , their attention and intensity feels good in the initial stage. But as it progresses, the obsessive person becomes more and more possessive and tries to limit the other person. They want to spend more and more time with other one as a result the other one is unable to give time to their family, friends and more importantly to themselves. As a result they want to get out of the relationship but find it harder to get away because of the obsessiveness of the other one.

Love makes a person good but the obsessiveness totally changes the behavior of a person. The root cause of it is insecurity. Insecurity about relationship, fear of being rejected. Obsessive lover might  have been rejected earlier by someone as a result they are now afraid of feeling the same pain of rejection again. Their past haunts them. They can't see themselves again in that state as a result their possessiveness over the other increases. They can't even think of losing that person and require constant reassurance from their partner that they are equally committed in their relationship.

In it Oscar  wants to say that obsessive love addiction makes a person corrupt and leads to destruction of other. They spoil and destroy the other person by the way they love them due to it the other person no longer remains the same as they were.

When an obsessive lover feels a threat in the relationship which could be real or perceived, their insecurity takes control over their mind and jealousy ,possessiveness and stalking start to rule the relationship. Stalking is a kind of Dating Violation in which the person is under constant surveillance. This involves following another person, checking their phones, hacking their accounts etc.All these things destroys the other person emotionally, physically and mentally. Obsessive lover tends to show off and often say again and again what they have done for their partner and they now owe back to them.

But my friend love is not about showing off, it's about giving selflessly. "Even after all this time The Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me". Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky."

Let your love be free . Don't bound them. Don't let your insecurity get over you. Love is healthy and sweet when it is build on trust, belief and confidence but obsessiveness makes it pale.

In the end I just want to say

" Some promises are always Unwritten,

Some Memories are always Unseen,

Feel magic of True relationship and,

You'll Realise that true feelings

Are always Unspoken."