When Love Becomes An Obsession

To start with, I am posting one of my old Article

Pyaar. Ishq. Mohabaat. Love.

Once in life we all have been in love or wants to be in love.. But what actually is love? Why sometime, someone becomes so important to us that our whole world is changed. We all have heared of love at first sight, but manyatimes we don't even know what a person would become after years of knowing or years of unknowing.

Love is a blossom feeling. It's like a sweet poison. Being in love reveals the other side of yours which is never seen with family or friends but only with your partner. In movie, "Pyaar Toh Hona hi Tha" , Om Puri said ," Har insan ko zindagi mai Pyaar zaroor karna chahiye..... Pyaar insaan ko bahut acha bana deta hai." (Every person should fall in love at least once in life....... Because love makes a person very good human being) But love become hazardous when it becomes an obsession.

We all are familiar with the iconic role of Shah Rukh Khan in "Darr", the story of an obsessive lover. We all saw the extent to which an obsessor can become dangerous.

In the beginning of a relationship passion is high. You want to spend more time with the other person either in person or on call. It feels good when someone takes that extra care , their attention and intensity feels good in the initial stage. But as it progresses, the obsessive person becomes more and more possessive and tries to limit the other person. They want to spend more and more time with other one as a result the other one is unable to give time to their family, friends and more importantly to themselves. As a result they want to get out of the relationship but find it harder to get away because of the obsessiveness of the other one.

Love makes a person good but the obsessiveness totally changes the behavior of a person. The root cause of it is insecurity. Insecurity about relationship, fear of being rejected. Obsessive lover might  have been rejected earlier by someone as a result they are now afraid of feeling the same pain of rejection again. Their past haunts them. They can't see themselves again in that state as a result their possessiveness over the other increases. They can't even think of losing that person and require constant reassurance from their partner that they are equally committed in their relationship.

In it Oscar  wants to say that obsessive love addiction makes a person corrupt and leads to destruction of other. They spoil and destroy the other person by the way they love them due to it the other person no longer remains the same as they were.

When an obsessive lover feels a threat in the relationship which could be real or perceived, their insecurity takes control over their mind and jealousy ,possessiveness and stalking start to rule the relationship. Stalking is a kind of Dating Violation in which the person is under constant surveillance. This involves following another person, checking their phones, hacking their accounts etc.All these things destroys the other person emotionally, physically and mentally. Obsessive lover tends to show off and often say again and again what they have done for their partner and they now owe back to them.

But my friend love is not about showing off, it's about giving selflessly. "Even after all this time The Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me". Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky."

Let your love be free . Don't bound them. Don't let your insecurity get over you. Love is healthy and sweet when it is build on trust, belief and confidence but obsessiveness makes it pale.

In the end I just want to say

" Some promises are always Unwritten,

Some Memories are always Unseen,

Feel magic of True relationship and,

You'll Realise that true feelings

Are always Unspoken."